THESE WALLS

something missing
left behind
search in circles
every time i try
i've been here before
i've seen you before
i can't escape walikng down these halls
hard to find a place where there are no walls
and no lines begging me to cross
only straight ahead better move along
like clockwork
i commit the crime
i pretend to be
everything they like
i'll trade everything for this
why do i read the writing on the wall?
i won't lose my place in line
i've been here too long
i've spent so much time..

LIFE...

life is short... enjoy while you can... appreciate people that care for you.... that love you the way you are... don't regret anything that's been done. there is always a reason for things that happen around you.. a man goes leaving behind his legacy... i sure hope i have one... but maybe a bit too late for that.. but life goes on...... until it ends....

SHARING.....

one nite, i called a friend that i haven't in ages.... around 4-5 years... i've not been a good friend to anyone... i've been hiding over my inferiority complex of what happened to me... the trauma of my past life still haunts me... but hiding never did any good... earlier this year, i made a promise to myself... to stop runnning away... no more running... face your inner deamons.. mano el mano... face to face... staring right into the eyes... last month... i manage to face it.... it felt gooooodd....
it felt even better after i called my long lost friend... now i know why nothing should be kept inside for too long... you'll end up like a living time bomb... waiting to explode... thanks to my friend, no more i felt that way... thanks a lot... i really appreciate it... the burden on my shoulder has lessen... and i hope before i go... it will completely disappear... so that i won't be a burden to the people who care and love me.... thanx for understanding... thanx for caring.... thanx for loving.... thanx for accepting me the way i am... till next time... me out.........

HOPE.... IS THERE HOPE?????

what is hope? do you believe in hope? is there any such thing as hope? is hope a shortcut to disappointment? even i dunno the answer... would there be any hope if you believe in hope? how many times have you been disappointed with what you hope for? living with hope or hope for living? just had this in my mind for a long time.... still no answer for it.... just a phase...

hahahahaha

me me me

thanks a lot for the tag aie..... banyak no soalan ko yea... here goes...

me self.....
[01] Real name: Mohd. Niezam
[02] Nickname: BAJAN, Zam, Ijam, etc
[03] Maritial stats: still wondering.... hmmmm... soon i hope....
[04] Zodiac Sign: capricorn
[05] Gender: absolutely male
[06] Age: 26
[07] High School: Sultan Abdul Hamid College, SM Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah.
[08] College: UTM
[09] Height: 178 kot...
[10] Weight: 96 kot...
[11] Do you like yourself: I do
[12] Piercings: use to...
[13] Right or left: both
[14] Are you a freak: occasionally
[15] Hair: Still there... but going...
[16] Skin: fair, i think... (suma kata aku puteh)
[17] Allergy: org perasan mcm best...
[18] What are you doing now: jawab mende alah ni laa. apa lagi???
[19] What will you doing 1 hour later: Sleep
[20] What will you doing 10 years later: enjoying life...

THE FAMILY
[21] Live with mother/father/parents: anywhere...
[22] Siblings(included you): tyranic trio
[23] Eldest: me... alpha...
[24] Youngest: tahfiz
[25] Love/hate your family: it goes both ways....

THE LOVE
[26] You found your other half: yup
[27] If yes, who is he/she: cikgu...
[28] If no, who you want him/her to be: dunno la...
[29] Time(s) you in relationship: huuh... must you bring that up... dah x ingat dah....
[30] Ever woo boy/girl(0-100000): naturally...
[31] Anyone woo you before(0-100000): yup....
[32] Did anything wrong to your other half: which one?
[33] What was/were the wrong you had done: ...
[34] Ever argue with your other half: regularly...
[35] You with your other half since: late 2007..
[36] Are you straight/gay: I'm gay to be straight
[37] Reasons you love your other half: accepting me the way i am...
[38] You and your other half in which stage: lepas ni jumpa keluarga lak.... gerun....
[39] You wooed him/her or he/she wooed you: both... love at second sight... honest...
[40] Ever think of marrying him/her: honestly... yes....!!

THE FRIENDS
[41] Your first best friend: shah reza bin mohd salleh... lost contact dah....
[42] Your first enemy: a blood sucking friend... wonder if he is still alive?
[43] The friends you love the most: ramai weh... they know themselves... being there when i was down....
[44] The enemy you hate the most(1 only): hate will consume you...
[45] Your most beautiful girl friend: everyone has thier quality...
[46] Your most handsome boy friend: <- Gay question
[47] The kind of girl you hate the most: snobbish
[48] The kind of boy you hate the most: mcm best
[49] You fall in love with your close friend before: yup...
[50] Your best friend is your ex-lover: Badd, Aie, Dzul...remember our nights together.....
[51] If your friend backstabbed you: cut the artery... bleed to death...
[52] If your friend betray you: cut the artery... peel your skin, rub salt on it... give you a slow death....
[53] If your friend woo your lover: i'll be jason....
[54] If your friends fall in love with you: flattered...
[55] If you fall in love with your best friend: thats nice...
[56] Are you a good student: Sometimes
[57] You always done your homeworks/assignments: Sometimes
[58] The teacher/tutor you love the most: pn. salwa
[59] Always late to school/college: sometimes
[60] Your class: havoc
[61] You love your seniors: have history with seniors...hehehe....
[62] Senior who you love the most: hehehehe.... (aie jangan jawab!!!)
[63] Your classmates good/bad: The good, the bad, the ugly
[64] Excellent result classmate: dah jadi dr trainee kat ireland..
[65] Laziest classmate: me....
[66] Smart people: taken advantage by politicians...
[67] Stupid people: politicians...
[68] Good looking people: perasan... padahal kosong..
[69] Ugly people: humble...
[70] Funny people: the best!!
[71] Cute people: adorable and humble
[72] Bad people: Everybody has it inside them
[73] Honest people: almost extinct....
[74] Acting people: will fall....
[75] You are what kind of people: hmmm... who am i to judge???
[76] Lip or eyes: read through the eyes...
[77] Hugs or kisses: both... [78] Shorter or taller: not an issue...
[79] Hesitant or spontaneous: Depends on situation
[80] Nice stomach or nice arms: who looks at those?
[81] Listener or talker: depend on situation...
[82] Romantic or rich: Cant win em all
[83] Good husband or Good Father: both... i hope...

THE FUTURE
[84] Age to get marry: <30
[85] Numbers of kid(s): bergantung pada rezeki...
[86] Career: management..
[87] Salary: Just nice
[88] Retirement age: got eh?
[89] Properties value: Cant decide
[90] Wishes: happiness....

SHOULD I QUIT?????

my job, i mean....
this raya really sucks!!!
xbleh cuti raya.... gaduh ngan store director...( he started it!!!)
no appreciation for work done........
no social life......
i really feel lonely inside...
but i'm afraid actually....
i used to love this job....
lost the passion...
how? what? why?
tensed all out...
what should i do?
but i have a contract to obligh....
hmmmmm....
HELP??